At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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