she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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