you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
