I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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