she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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