I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
