That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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