You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
