one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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