Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
