Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
