Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
