I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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