i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
In other news, I just burned my penis
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
