someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
