Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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