so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
