belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
