I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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