We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Everything about him screamed your future.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
