My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize