The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
