So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
