I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
