i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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