Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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