then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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