Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
