Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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