Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
