So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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