I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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