There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
