seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
