So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
kristin has been a bad kristin
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My ass is underappreciated
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
