The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize