just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
