In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
