Banned from zoo.
Again?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
