I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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