Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
