Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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