I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just invented taco cereal.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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