I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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