Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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