she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
