wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
