Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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