Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
