If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Be still, my beating vagina.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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