I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
