Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize