butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
