I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
