Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
