Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
