You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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