idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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