carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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