Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
