The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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