He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
