dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Your penis caused this!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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