So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
