i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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