I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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