so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
