just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
